A few weeks ago I made a trip up to Toronto to visit Yiling, a dear friend of mine from 20th. I had an enjoyable 3 to 4 days there. And I really should write about it soon. But I think I'll wait till I get the photos we took from her before publishing an entry on my Toronto trip.
Spring Break was from March 13 to 17. I took up a one-week long internship in San Francisco with California Appellate Project, a non-profit law firm that assists in appeals work for post-conviction death penalty prisoners. Rather than stay in a hotel in San Francisco, Sean invited me very graciously to stay with him and Joel at Palo Alto (where Stanford is). And I'm so glad that I stayed with them.
We didn't do very much at Palo Alto. It was "Dead Week" for Stanford students, the week before their finals. Joel was busy with a Computer Design (I think) project, and Sean was busy with preparing for finals and papers and stuff. So in the day I went into the city and came back at night and joined in their Bible Study and Fellowship meetings.
The Saturday after I got into SFO Airport, Sean organised a dinner at Shiok! (yes you guessed it -- a Singaporean/Malaysian restaurant) for the Singaporean grad students whom I knew from way back. I think there were around 14 or 15 of us at the restaurant, and true to Singaporean form, we made quite a din while digging into our beef rendang and char kway teow etc. It was quite amazing to meet so many friends whom I'd known since way back and in a variety of capacities.
I guess the main feeling I took back with me from Spring Break was one of gratitude. For a couple of reasons:
1. I experienced such grace as a result of Sean's and Joel's hospitality. They offered me their bed, and came to pick me up at the airport. Not only that. I had to leave for San Francisco every morning at around 7am. I took the Caltrain every day, to and from San Francisco. It was a 40min pleasant train ride. But they volunteered to drive me from their apartment to the Caltrain station at Palo Alto every morning. They took turns to wake up at 6.30am or 7am. Granted, there were mornings when Sean got up earlier to chat on the phone with his girlfriend (who's working in Singapore) but even so, he had to interrupt their conversation so he could send me to the station. And Joel also set his alarm clock just so he could wake up at 7am to send me. At night if I didn't call Sean to let him know what time and which station I'd be arriving at, he'd call me to find out, and came to pick me up at the station. It was Amazing Grace that I experienced over there under their care. In all my life, I have never felt such love and grace emanating from my friends. And these fantastic brothers of mine showed me such love and such grace I knew that Christ was in their hearts. I had no expectation that they would do so, because I had fully planned to take the bus from their place to the Caltrain station. And certainly they didn't need to, but they did. And I accepted their grace willingly. Is it possible that I had taken full advantage of their kindness? Should my Asian values have prompted me to decline their kind offers? Well, I did, initially. But I decided to just accept their grace and accept that sometimes we have to rely on others. And it's true -- that's the same attitude that I have towards Jesus. I suppose it's a parallel feeling -- do we feel that sometimes we can and should make it on our own? Then how can we accept that we are truly fallen and cannot climb back on our own feet without His help? So I accepted their kindness, convinced that I will be there for them when they need me.
I suppose that it was kind of easier to accept Sean's kindness because he's the friend I've known the longest and certainly known best. So I'm glad that we've established such an understanding and I know this is a brotherhood that I'll cherish and hold onto for a very very very long time.
So to Sean and Joel-- thank you.
2. My work at the California Appellate Project taught me a lot. I worked on a murder case, and was helping to piece together evidence to support the possible claim that the prosecution key players might have doctored the evidence in order to sustain their prosecution.
More significantly, I read the social history of this guy who was convicted of the murder, and sentenced to death. I could go into the details of this guy's emotional and physical abuse since he was born, both in the hands of his "family" and his fellow inmates at the numerous juvenile institutions in which he spent his life. But I shan't. I think the little that I've described here would suffice to paint the picture.
He was ultimately a good kid. He took drugs, got hooked, and couldn't control his urges, I think. And he ended up murdering people. I think it is a fact that he did kill them. But his defense attorney did not raise the issue of his troubled past, which could have explained his whole dependence on drugs, and would have persuaded the jury not to impose the death penalty on him.
But my lesson from it all was that where I am, what I've achieved, it has all been and will always be a matter of God's bountiful grace. If I ever boast or even sound cocky or arrogant, remind me of this. Keep reminding me of this. It's always easy to shrug and say "Oh well I was born with this talent." But it's tremendous how significant the influences and guidance we've got thus far are to whom we've become. I'm thankful that I've got a stable family with parents who love me dearly. I'm thankful for my teachers who have seen me through my education thus far (and I'm cognizant my formal education is coming to an end very quickly), and everyone who has had an interest in nurturing me and making sure I went the "right way". I couldn't possibly have come this far if I didn't have these angels by my side. And I felt so sad for the guy because all his life he had yearned for companionship, and love, and an adult figure to look up to, and he had no one. Yet, countless times I've complained and lamented about the stress I've had to put up with, the expectations that people around me had laid on my shoulders. It's nothing compared to what he went through.
The epiphany that I got from reading his social history, is that we who have been blessed with much, can and should play a significant role in mentoring the younger ones around us. I don't mean we should all go and perform community service at some juvenile institution. I mean that in every sphere of influence we move around, we should seek to impact our younger fellows to follow in our footsteps. Those in the armed forces, look out for those who may be in trouble and try to help them out, steer them towards the right path. Those making policies, wherever you are and whichever field you are in, try your best to make sure the policies are sound, and when implemented will serve to make better the lives of those you are responsible for. Those in teaching, heed your call to look out for those students who may be experiencing difficulties at home. Wherever we are I'm sure we can make an impact. I was just talking to Nat this afternoon over porridge in Chinatown, and we were sharing about how difficult our jobs may be in the future, as prosecutors. We can be so tempted to just look at suspects as criminals, and not as human beings first. True, we have the duty to uphold justice, but we should be mindful that these are lives we are handling, and behind every crime there might well be a sad history of abuse and violence that the defendants had to face constantly while growing up. So in upholding justice, we should exercise mercy whenever possible.
So in all, an extremely fruitful week in California. Thanks God, I learned so much.
No comments:
Post a Comment